This shade of Blue will make you ask for another hue, mera wala Blue?

Expectations were riding high on ‘the most expensive film ever made’ (at Rs. 120 crore) and the first Bollywood film to be shot underwater and in The Bahamas, falls way below the mark. It is a disappointment of monumental proportions.

Kabir Bedi, a captain survives when his ship, Lady in Blue (how corny is that), sinks in 1949. The ship is carrying an Indian treasure that the UK had decided to return to India after independence. Cut to the present day, Sagar (Sanjay Dutt) is a fat fisherman, happy with a middle-class existence. He spends his time canoodling with hot girl Mona (Lara Dutta) on the beach and with his only pal, rich playboy Aarav (Akshay Kumar). He has a rebellious younger brother Sam (Zayed Khan) who spends his time winning drag races in Bangkok. Zayed rubs underworld don Gulshan (Rahul Dev) the wrong way and has to pay him 50 million dollars. Nikki (Katrina Kaif) helps him escape to The Bahamas but Gulshan tracks him down. So, Sagar, Sam and Aarav have to retrieve the treasure of the Lady in Blue, much against Sagar’s wishes to pay him back.

There is mighty little that’s good in Blue. The music by Rahman is phenomenal and the videos have been shot beautifully. Blue opens on a mesmerizing note with Rehnuma as underwater cinematography expert Pete Zuccharini’s camera moves leisurely, capturing the beautiful bounties of the ocean. The Bahamas make for a spectacular location. The drag race sequence with Zayed and Rahul, the chase sequence in Bangkok with cars being blown up everywhere, the bike race through the forest and on the train and the underwater sequences have been captured brilliantly. The movie is technically sound with top-of-the-class cinematography, costume design, production design, visual effects and background score. Lara, Katrina and Zayed look hot, especially in their introduction scenes. And the movie is short.

Now here’s the bad part.

Watching Blue reminds you of Yuvvraaj as both are awful movies wasting Rahman’s music and some deep-pockets producer's precious money. How could the people at Ashtavinayak have sanctioned something so baseless as this and trusted a new director with a mind-boggling 120 crore? Wish they would have spent an extra crore on a tight and taut script and story.

The dialogues are pathetic and juvenile. Sample this: Jis din mein haar jaaonga, uss din mein duniya chhod doonga. You wonder why Akshay and Sanjay call each other ‘Sarkar’ and ‘Sethji’ all the time, even in the intense scenes. Five minutes into the movie and you wonder what’s happening. Akshay and Sanjay are driving around The Bahamas and are in a terrible hurry to say their lines. Then it abruptly cuts to Lara in her lingerie and Aaj dil Gustakh hai where Sanjay and Lara canoodle on the beach. The editing is choppy and nothing is established even at the time of interval. You just hope the second half gets better but it’s even more bizarre.

Lara has barely 8 scenes that give her no scope to perform and she is simply a glam doll who was paid to pour her hot figure in gorgeous bikinis and short dresses. Her dialogue delivery is bland. Sanjay Dutt looks completely disinterest and sports a pot belly. Akshay Kumar looks wicked with his goatee and toned torso but isn’t very comfortable with his English lines. He is a tad too Indian or desi for his suave Western character. Rahul Dev makes no impact as the villain. He looks mean but they should have taken someone with a stronger personality.

Anthony D’souza is not a director with promise and the scenes whether comic or dramatic make no impact.

Don’t look for any logic in this film. The laughable climax scene is supposedly set in The Bahamas but has been shot in Phuket, a place that every moviegoer recognizes. People in the auditorium were actually laughing at it as they didn’t have a choice and also grumbled that the first half was akin to watching a Discovery Channel program. The twist in the end makes no sense or impact and frankly, you don’t even give a damn by the time the ‘suspense’ is revealed. And why are the characters wearing bright suits. That can be very dangerous as sharks are attracted to bright colours.

Kylie Minogue is wasted. Anyone could have swished their tush for a litle money, but Bollywood gets Kylie to Chiggy Wiggy- groovy aye!

Blue is a classic example of money being flushed recklessly. It’s all gloss and hype but no substance. You will be gasping for breath by the end of it, so don’t risk swimming here. Spend you money elsewhere, where sharks are made of plastic, and you can play with them. Water Kingdom anyone?


Janhvi Patel/Hill Road Media