Have Kissan ketchup instead

Puneet Sira made Jai Veeru in which he massacred everybody’s favourite iconic characters. He is not a promising director and yet he gets the opportunity to make more (bad) movies and waste the producer’s money.

The problem with Kisaan is that the makers thought they were making a socially relevant film supporting the cause of farmers but the film takes itself too seriously and it is just a silly, violent and brutal action film that is a drag.

Dayal Singh (Jackie Shroff) has two sons, Jigar and Aman (Sohail and Arbaaz). He sends Aman to study in the city while Jigar becomes a patriotic farmer. When Aman comes back, he sees Jigar mindlessly killing people and chopping off their hands (like a butcher doing his job). All the violence puts him off and he goes back to the city. Sohan Seth (Dalip Tahil) is a mean businessman who befriends him as he wants to take the land from the villagers and make a mall there. Meanwhile, Dayal gets a heart attack, Aman’s lawyer wife Priya (Dia Mirza) foils Sohan’s commercial plans and the brothers (Aman and Jigar) are pitted against each other. Titli (Nauheed Cyrusi) plays Jigar’s love interest. Nirmal (Romeo) is one of the villains of the film.

Why does every village or farmer story have to be set in Punjab? It’s as if there are no farmers in any other state of India. But, it’s very easy depicting sarson ke khet and a tight churidaar-kurta clad soni kudi making sarson da saag aur makke di roti to feed the entire family. There is no need to do any research also as every second Hindi movie has Punjabi village elements.

The first half of the film is bad and the second half gets worse and too violent to tolerate. Kisaan is far more violent than Kaminey so it is unfair that Kaminey got an ‘A’ while Kisaan got away with a ‘U/A’ certificate. In the climax, several guys with long, unruly hair literally let their hair down and go on a murderous spree. There is a mangled mess of hair and blood on screen which reminds you of 10,000 B.C.

There are hardly any funny dialogues. The lack of humour makes you want to doze off. The songs are forgettable. The ‘Desh ki dharti’ remix was not required. One corny line stands out: Dayal tells Aman, ‘Tu mere jigar ka tukda hai,’ to which Aman replies, ‘Yehi toh problem hai, Jigar aapka pura jigar hai!’

Jackie Shroff shines as he is finally playing his age. Sohail Khan plays a farmer with a six-pack. Guess sweating it out in the fields chiselled his body to perfection. Oh dear! His performance is okay. Arbaaz Khan is wooden and robotic. Parsi girl Nauheed Cyrusi tries hard to speak Punjabi but fails. There is no hope for her and she should go back to music videos and print modeling. Dia Mirza looks pretty but is wasted. Romeo makes a mark.

Patriotic or rural movies are likable as we have seen with Upkar, Mother India and Lagaan. Watch these movies instead or buy a bottle of Kissan ketchup and glug while you are at it!

Janhvi Patel/Hill Road Media